Never Be Lonely by Pamela Fudge

Author:Pamela Fudge [Fudge, Pamela]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: uploadable
Publisher: Endeavour Press
Published: 2017-03-07T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twelve

There, I had voiced my fear out loud. It was a fear that had remained unspoken and barely registered, except deep in my subconscious, but it had haunted me ever since my mother had stated baldly that she had cancer.

It made me feel selfish to be thinking of myself and my feelings at such a time, but I had been left wondering about the truth of my father’s disappearance from my life for thirty-nine years. For the first time I was close to finding out what really happened – because the one thing my trip to Canada had shown me was that all was not as clear cut as I had been led to believe.

I found difficulty sleeping that night with what felt like a million questions teeming through my brain. Questions that had lain dormant for years, but had now surged out into the open after my conversation with Ashlyn, and were demanding answers.

‘Dad never talked about his first wife, his marriage, or his reasons for leaving,’ Ashlyn told me, and I had no reason to doubt her. All he had ever talked about, she had said, was finding me and trying to put things right between us – even though he had accepted that it might be far too little and far too late.

It was strange having someone to talk to after all these years, someone who knew some – if not all – of the story. As a result, some – if not all – of the resentment I’d been feeling towards her had begun to dissolve.

I still couldn’t quite decide why she would want to trek across the world to insinuate herself into my life because I was quite sure that, even had I known she existed, I would not have even crossed the road to become part of hers.

I wished now I had taken up Cheryl’s offer and looked more closely at the contents of the box of letters and photos in Canada. It would have been the sensible thing to do and I would probably not still be struggling to discover the truth with nothing to go on. The fact was, I had been so shocked by the apparent depth of my mother’s deception that all I could feel was that I must hear the story from her own lips and not try to discover it from a bunch of old letters. That was still how I felt and I could only hope that very shortly it would become a possibility. Whatever the facts were I had to believe my mother had her reasons for concealing them from me and give her the opportunity to justify her actions.

‘Have you seen Ellie?’ I asked, placing a piece of toast in front of Ashlyn when she finally put in an appearance just before I was about to leave for work. ‘It’s not like her to miss her breakfast.’

Ashlyn bit, chewed, frowned and shook her head. ‘She wasn’t even on my bed last night. I thought she must have been on yours.

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